Tonight nobody showed up. I walked the streets alone tapping up protest posters for a protest I never wanted to plan in the first place. I use my time, my energy, and compromise my mental health and no one shows up. There has got to come a time when we, black people hold each other to a higher standard. There has to be a time when we, black people, are held accountable for our failure to show up.  The way we bust cop windows and organize vigils one week then go back to life and forget the next. Its so easy to get caught up in the day to day and forget that we never won this war. A few weeks without a murder or a year since the Ferguson Uprising doesn't mean we actually accomplished anything. Imagine how far we could have gotten and how much we could have accomplished by now if we never stopped after Ferguson. A year ago this country and our communities were in a state of shock and disbelief as things happened that have been happening for centuries and you became transfixed on them as if it was new. As if this ain't expected. As if this ain't the life of a nigga. A few weeks from now when the killings die down you will forget again. You will go back to your mediocre realities always one step away from becoming a hashtag. Forgetting the children of Alton Sterling and Alva Brasil and Philando Castile you will stop fighting and show those children that there really is no hope. That growing up black, making it to 18 even is a kind of magic and you shouldn't expect to make it much further.

There must be a comfort that you find in living like that. You'd rather not show up. You'd rather not give your time, energy, money, and resources to the cause, you'd rather wait for me to. You'd rather watch our community burn to the ground because you want everyone to see the way we sparkle as we burn. The way we demand and fight. The way we unite in tragedy. But there  comes a time when black unity shouldn't only exist in death and black excellence shouldn't only exist in how hard it was to kill us. I'm tired.

I'm tired of no one showing up. I'm tired of the expectation that I will carry you, fight for you, yet have no support from you. When are black people going to realize that we are stronger when we are together and that our lives shouldn't only matter after we die. Be here, be present. Fight, do something, stop waiting to die.